I had fun illustrating this poem, but, it took me four versions of the art before I was relatively satisfied! The poem itself kept getting whittled down. It went from about ten stanzas to this version with three. I tend to realize, after a while, that I needn't explain everything! After years and years of writing haiku, you'd think it would have sunk in by now! Please let me know if you think I've pruned away too much, in other words, does this terse version make sense to you?
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And I guess I would ask, "do they ever sleep well?" I don't know if there is a background of gathering feathers for pillows and/or mattresses after a war? Is that something you left out, or is it my imagination taking flight? I find it hard to think about having a war in the next field over, & then finding the things left all the rest of my life. In your poem, you seem to hone in on what can be relied upon, that we do get to rest & hopefully it's good.
ReplyDeleteNo, Linda, no background. I think it's always some poor peasant who's left to clean up. If they're lucky, there's some usable left behind.
DeleteThat should be "someTHING usable..."
DeleteIt really is quite a picture, & you've made it even more interesting. Heavy burdens.
DeleteI think the terse-ness works quite well here and makes for a very evocative poem! I'm certainly left with a sense of discontent and unease, and it makes me wonder who exactly could sleep well after such an event as that!
ReplyDeleteNo, no one directly involved in the hostilities should sleep well.
DeleteI like how it shows the comfort, or the wisdom of simple folk. I take it the battle was between higher beings, and those gathering feathers were just being practical. Makes sense to me!
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it, Andi!
DeleteI like the terse-ness as well. The poem conveys a direct, simple concept. It does provoke a number of questions about the situation. But that, to me, is always fine.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I like the idea of angels, not even they can be trusted not to turn. War is a nasty business.
DeleteSo many layers to that visual. As with the poem, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tara, I'm really trying to layer both the words and the visual.
Deletethe image is spellbinding; this is truly an extraordinary haiga
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Thank you, Gillena!
DeleteSorry it took you so many stanzas to sink in, but you sunk (sank?) beautifully! Art and words!
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't be so bad if I learned and didn't have to keep repeating the same mistakes time and again!
DeleteDiane, I think the brevity definitely works in your favor. You could even go the haiku route, if you wanted to:
ReplyDeleteFallen feathers
no matter their color,
warm the victor's pillow
Thanks for sharing!
Nice haiku, Matt! Yup, there's always room for LESS!
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