Featuring cherita!


July 9, 2015

Poetry Friday--"After the Battles of Heaven (and Earth)"

Another angel poem for the 2016 Sketchbook Project. The angels are only implied.

Click on the image to enlarge for easier reading. © Diane Mayr, all rights reserved. Figures from "The Gleaners" (1857) by Jean-François Millet, courtesy Musée d'Orsay, Paris. Gettysburg (Smith's Battery and Round Top) battlefield photo courtesy Library of Congress.

I had fun illustrating this poem, but, it took me four versions of the art before I was relatively satisfied! The poem itself kept getting whittled down. It went from about ten stanzas to this version with three. I tend to realize, after a while, that I needn't explain everything! After years and years of writing haiku, you'd think it would have sunk in by now! Please let me know if you think I've pruned away too much, in other words, does this terse version make sense to you?

The Logonauts are hosting the Poetry Friday Round-Up this week. Be sure to stop by!

18 comments:

  1. And I guess I would ask, "do they ever sleep well?" I don't know if there is a background of gathering feathers for pillows and/or mattresses after a war? Is that something you left out, or is it my imagination taking flight? I find it hard to think about having a war in the next field over, & then finding the things left all the rest of my life. In your poem, you seem to hone in on what can be relied upon, that we do get to rest & hopefully it's good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, Linda, no background. I think it's always some poor peasant who's left to clean up. If they're lucky, there's some usable left behind.

      Delete
    2. That should be "someTHING usable..."

      Delete
    3. It really is quite a picture, & you've made it even more interesting. Heavy burdens.

      Delete
  2. I think the terse-ness works quite well here and makes for a very evocative poem! I'm certainly left with a sense of discontent and unease, and it makes me wonder who exactly could sleep well after such an event as that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, no one directly involved in the hostilities should sleep well.

      Delete
  3. I like how it shows the comfort, or the wisdom of simple folk. I take it the battle was between higher beings, and those gathering feathers were just being practical. Makes sense to me!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the terse-ness as well. The poem conveys a direct, simple concept. It does provoke a number of questions about the situation. But that, to me, is always fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As much as I like the idea of angels, not even they can be trusted not to turn. War is a nasty business.

      Delete
  5. So many layers to that visual. As with the poem, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Tara, I'm really trying to layer both the words and the visual.

      Delete
  6. the image is spellbinding; this is truly an extraordinary haiga

    much love...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry it took you so many stanzas to sink in, but you sunk (sank?) beautifully! Art and words!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wouldn't be so bad if I learned and didn't have to keep repeating the same mistakes time and again!

      Delete
  8. Diane, I think the brevity definitely works in your favor. You could even go the haiku route, if you wanted to:

    Fallen feathers
    no matter their color,
    warm the victor's pillow

    Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice haiku, Matt! Yup, there's always room for LESS!

      Delete